Politics

A Thousand Cuts

While we're all upset, in one way or another, about the government shutdown of the past week, let me remind you that we've had another shutdown of sorts going on for almost a year.

Who remembers sequestration? Did you think it had disappeared? Did you think that, in the face of a total shutdown and a possible default, that it no longer had any relevance? Any effect? You didn't notice?

Just for the record, here are a few people who noticed.
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The Ex

I've got this ex-boyfriend who used to steal money out of my wallet and, when I caught him, used to tell me it was my fault, because he asked me for it but I said no.

And he was telling the truth. He would sometimes ask me for money and I would say no. Because I knew what he wanted it for (we won't go into that now, but you can have your little theories).

There were also times when he didn't ask me. He just took it.

At those times, his excuse would be that he knew that if he asked me, I would say no, so he had no choice. He had to go ahead and just take it. So it was my fault. Read more about The Ex

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Ditto

I'm short on time, and I'm sick to death of the Tea Party. Ted Cruz bears an uncanny resemblance to Tail-Gunner Joe. And just yesterday my broker and I (yes, I have a broker. He's trying to make my pittance stretch enough to keep me off dog food in my old age.) had a conversation about knowing when to hold 'em, when to fold 'em if the world economy goes nova on October 17. Read more about Ditto

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Deus ex Machina

No one would take Vladimir Putin for a god except, quite possibly, Vladimir Putin himself, but he's currently playing one on TV. Rising inexplicably over the horizon, with all the timeliness of Delios rescuing the murderous Medea from the wrath of Jason, it seems he may be about to rescue the murderous Bashar al-Assad from the wrath of the United States military. Read more about Deus ex Machina

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Kris-Chrossed

Yesterday, when I met my friend Brian at the University Bookstore Cafe, I plopped my pastry and chai on the table, sat down, and said, "Good morning. What should we do about Syria?"

"Drop a bomb on top of Assad," he said, with a genial smile. Brian is an unsentimental sort. Read more about Kris-Chrossed

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The Snarky Commandments

1. The English word god is the Lord Thy God. He is a he. Thou shalt not call Him by any other name.

2. Thou shalt not make any graven images of Me that look funny.

3. Thou shall not take the name of the Lord thy God in vain, by which is meant actual prayer.

4. Remember the Sabbath Day to keep it wholly devoted to sports.

5. Honor thy father and mother. Send them (to the) home.

6. Thou shalt not kill except with an AR15 assault rifle

7. Thou shalt not commit adult behavior.

8. Thou shalt not steal unless thou art a multi-national corporation. Read more about The Snarky Commandments

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